Hey Fat Ass

Excercising is like cleaning your teeth!

2010-01-15T15:26:00.000-08:00

I lost 8.5 pounds of fat.
That's 15% total body fat.
I put on 5 pounds of pure muscle baby...Whooooo!
(I am not American but I like speaking like one)

So having read some contributions that motivated me from the previous Hey Fat Ass I thought I'd share my thoughts and program that work for me.

I wanted to drop a few pounds that I had put on since having my son nearly 3 years ago.

I was not very focused the first month especially as I had my first ever thanksgiving which was like 5 Christmas Dinners in the UK!

December I decided to get more focused so having trained in boxing and martial arts back in the UK I bought a heavy bag for my garage and trained over the weekend at home. Doing skipping, shuttle runs, press ups and bag work. Tip *nothing can beat hitting a heavy bag to help you chill out

Before HFA I was going in doing an hour of weight training a couple of times per week but pretty much doing the same big exercises like bench press etc but never changing.

Before I came over to the US I bought a magazine published by Mens Health (which I know is in the US) that focused on a year long program that's based on muscle confusion. Muscle confusion is where you follow a short exercise program with weights for 3-4 weeks (which is around the time your muscles become comftable with them) and then you change to an entirely different routine working the muscles in a different way to make them work harder to adapt and so on every month.

The basic premise is that you follow 3 pairs of superset exercises (one exercise immediately followed by another before you rest), 3 times each, 3 times per week with a day of rest in between. Also they only took about 30 minutes so I felt less exhausted the next day so I added a 30 minute run on the treadmill before each weight session, totaling an hour and burning about 650 calories a session. The bonus with incorporating weights is that your muscles need energy to recover so you continue to burn calories into the next day.

My program started with a focus on the big muscles in the upper body and legs. 4 weeks later I changed to dumbell excercises which were much harder and stripped more fat because they incorporated 2-3 excercises in one movement making much more of a total body work out.

I am now starting the 3rd month which is called 'upstairs downstairs' basically focusing on alternate upper body and legs.

Food
Like most people I love my food and realised that I could work out all I wanted but if I did not have a strategy to lower my calorie intake it would all be in vain so I created and followed some simple rules.

1. Eat less bread.
2. Have a fresh vegetable/fruit juice every other day (morning or evening depending on time)
I created the Grovesy special which is;
1 large Carrott
Half Beetroot
1 large Apple
1 Stick of Celery
1/2 Lemon with Peel
2 Radishes
1 inch of Ginger
3. High protein breakfast Yogurt Parfait, Boiled Egg etc
4. No Coffee
5. Soup and Salad for lunch - Recommend SF Soup Co and La Salsa (One Sandwich per week as a treat, Turkey, Cranberry in Specialty's :))
6. One piece of Choc with a lighter meal in the eve (One eat out at weekend at Taco Joes, Cheescake Factory or similar but only if trained same day).

Summary
I found mixing up my boxing training (If you need any help or advice on this let me know) with regular 3 times per week half hour run and half hour weight training sessions works for me. Having a clear focused year course that I can follow is excellent (Be happy to let you photocopy if your interested).

Following some simple eating rules, especially at work made the difference because I have not really dieted just changed eating habits.

The main thing is this. I told myself that I clean my teeth every day, It's sometimes a hassle but I do it anyway because I have to protect my teeth, it's one of life's little necessities. Excercising regularly is the same, it's not something you do now and then it has to be part of how you live your life!

Good luck :)

Matt Groves

It's about diet

2009-11-05T16:45:00.001-08:00

Interesting article in the NTY about the importance of diet in weight loss, as opposed to exercise.

http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/11/04/phys-ed-why-doesnt-exercise-lead-to-weight-loss/?em

Mmmmmm, holiday treats.

2009-10-16T12:06:00.001-07:00

http://www.lastappetite.com/french-fry-coated-hotdog/

Reasons to do HFA Holiday Edition:

2009-10-15T16:16:00.000-07:00

1. The holidays are a notoriously difficult time to stay healthy. Most of us wake up in January having packed on several extra pounds of "holiday cheer." HFA gives you the motivation to refuse that third slice of pie, fourth helping of mashed potatoes, and sixth bucket of gravy. Wouldn't you rather wake up in January feeling energetic and healthy instead of enormous and hungover? Of course you would. HFA helps make it happen.

2. It doesn't mean you can't eat, drink and be merry. It just means you're going to be smart about it. Hit all the holiday parties you want. Eat turkey. Drink wine. Have a bowl of ice cream. But be conscious about it. Do it mindfully. And in the morning, go for a run. Or hit the gym. Or whatever. HFA helps you keep it all in balance, so you don't wake up January 1st surrounded by a half-eaten turkey carcass, an empty keg of High Life and Slav Nikolov.

3. It has worked for people just like you. Read the great posts below by Jody Horn, Cris Logan, Josh Spanier, EJ, and Marc Sobier. They did it, and several of them are going to do it again. They all lost a ton of weight and feel great--just like you will on January 15th if you do Hey Fat Ass Holiday Edition.

Hey Fat Ass Holiday Edition Begins!

2009-10-15T16:05:00.000-07:00

Jody Horn: I am a weight-loss cliché

2009-10-07T14:06:00.000-07:00

Look at the last ten pages of any guilty-pleasure magazine, and you’ll find some toothy fool who claims to have lost 60 pounds in just 99 days.

He’ll tell you that he has more energy. He sleeps more soundly. His stress-level is lower. His jeans fit better. He, of course, doesn’t need to tell you about his jeans. This will be self-evident by the compulsory profile shot with his extended arm tugging his before pants a half-foot from his after abdomen.

Most important, the transformed after man will insist: if I can do it, anyone can do it.

This information will be set in 36-point type. It will be in quotes. Exclamation points will be used recklessly.

This fool is pretty much me. Right down to the abusive exclamation points.

I am a weight-loss cliché(!)

What’s not cliché, I suppose, is that most of the guys in these ads were allegedly freed from the albatross around their mid-sections by way of pills or exotic fruit extracts or contraptions with “burner” in their name.

By contrast, the secret to my weight loss was horror.

I had recently come across an old travel journal from 1994. In one particular passage, I was recounting a bout with a gnarly stomach-bug I picked up while trekking in Nepal. My weight, at the time I stood wide-eyed and slack-jawed in front of the Taj Mahal, was a full 100 pounds less than the amount I weighed as I sat wide-eyed and slack-jawed reading this entry.

Horror.

Within days I was shopping online for an elliptical. In my research, I discovered that some of the home-use equipment wasn’t recommended for people in my weight range. In case the implications of this aren’t readily apparent, allow me to translate: I was too fat for machines made for people who are too fat.

Sheer. Horror.

This prompted me to immediately Google some online body-fat calculators to help substantiate to myself that things weren’t so dire.

Suffice to say there are few words in the English language that can drive a man to take action like these: clinically obese. Insult, meet injury.

Sheer. Fucking. Horror.

Something had to give.

I had run out of delusions.

I had run out of excuses.

I had run out of pants.

The Bro-tund

I once heard that an ideal weight-loss strategy includes taking weight off at the same rate you put it on. It took me ten years to put on my weight, and the prospect of a decade-long reversal was enough to make me want to curl up with some crullers and take a nap. I was determined to drop the weight as quickly as I could and use the experience as a way to jumpstart a bigger lifestyle change..

It would seem the Gods of Health, Wellness and Superficiality were conspiring that week. Two days after my elliptical arrived, I received an email from Spencer Riviera. It was an invitation. A diplomatic invitation (“… not that we don’t love you just the way you are, but a few of us were wondering if you might have interest…”) to join Hey Fat-Ass!: a three-month quest for long-lost abdomens and healthy-living, wrapped up in winner-take-all fatboy smackdown. The timing was impeccable. I leapt at the chance. Technically, it was a fist-pump. The leap sounded too strenuous.

The First Rule of Fat Club…

Get a strategy.

The first thing I did was to hand my body over to someone who knew their head from their fat ass. I signed on for Hey Fat Ass! without much of a plan. The initial weigh-in, included getting our body-fat calculated by a trainer.

Now whenever I hear “trainer”, my mind goes to a guy with a face like a dried crab-apple. A war-vet. A guy who works in a gym, not a club. He deploys “buddy” within the first twenty syllables of meeting him. Someone you can slouch in front of when your shirt is off. Curiously, (and cleverly, mind you) Mark Rurka’s take on a trainer was a woman. Not just a woman but a woman in spandex. A hot, young woman in black spandex. With an Eastern European accent. More of a purr, really. Dosta: a kitten with calipers. Completely flustered, clad in plain white boxers, I genuinely apologized for my physique. I found myself calling out things like the lack of arch in my foot. I think somewhere in between prattling on about not really knowing how this hair got on to my back and her state of the art, cold-steel calipers digging into my inner thigh, I think I may have passed out briefly. I can’t speak for the other 24 Fat-Ass guys down-to-skivvies weigh-in experience, but I can tell you that when the door swung open after my turn I saw at least a dozen guys go silent and suck in their guts like high-school sophomores on the beach when the cheerleaders pass by.

Pathetic.

(Touché, Rurka.)

But I digress.

Based on my doughy BMI numbers, the hot-trainer told me that I was a classic belly-carrier. Given that I had seen my toes about as frequently as I had seen fiber over the course of the previous year this wasn’t really an epiphany. However, hearing it from a professional immediately made it clinical and gave me focus. Dosta offered up some thoughts about the types of exercises I might consider and sent my fat ass off to get schooled in belly fat.

I searched “belly fat” books on Amazon and found 6,280 results. I bought a book that afternoon. I read it that night. I was really disciplined about everything and in my first week I lost 11 pounds.

Putting the Die in Diet

I thought my change in eating habits was going to kill me.

For the first ten days, I was always hungry and usually pissed off. But it got better quickly. I didn’t track calories but I changed what I ate and how I ate.

I ate five times a day to keep my metabolism chugging. I ate smaller portions–usually never more than fist-size helpings of any one thing. And I split my lunch every day: half at 1p.m. and half at 4 p.m.

By no means did I go über-vegan during the competition. But I did use this as an opportunity to make myself try new healthy foods to replace all the fats and empty carbs I had learned to rely on. Turns out I can’t consume enough beets, anything with lentils or wheatberry rocks and, to my complete and utter astonishment, I found that tofu doesn’t suck. Boxed Lunch on Kearney Street does an amazing baked tofu salad that’s now a mainstay in my lunch repertoire.

I ate notably fewer carbohydrates, but not to the point of eliminating them entirely. I needed a little carbo-reserve to help me get through my workouts. I had some starch at breakfast and some at lunch, but usually got off the carbo-train by 4 p.m. Brown rice was my grain of choice. It’s crazy-healthy, but you gotta go brown. I learned that the milling that converts brown rice into white rice destroys 80% of the nutritional value and practically all of the dietary fiber. I’ve become a proud rice racist.

I ate a lot of protein. Lots and lots of fish (the mega-salad bar at Julie’s Kitchen–Montgomery at Pine–offers three or four different kinds of fish daily). I ate Kashi high-protein cereal or hard-boiled eggs for breakfast. Hummus, edamame, and skim mozzarella sticks to snack on.

I ate mostly salad concoctions for dinner. I became pretty adept at the Hippy Salad with a home-made balsamic vinaigrette. Collectively, not very artful (a mess, really), but surprisingly satisfying. Mixed greens, nuts, carrots, tomatoes, avocado or any vegetable I could find. Nectarines, cherries, grapes or any fruit I could find. Any fish or the leanest meat I could find. The stinkiest cheese I could find. In general, eating particularly flavorful healthy food was key to keeping me sated and focused.

I did give up Coke (my biggest vice). I didn’t start drinking diet Coke. I did drink a lot of water. I didn’t drink juice or anything processed in a factory. I did drink more coffee than I was used to. I didn’t drink alcohol. And I am single-handedly responsible for the bulk of Lipton’s Iced Tea Bags West Coast Q3 sales volume.

I gave up the cake-y sweets. Instead I had nuts, fruits, and an occasional square of extra dark chocolate–85% cocoa to get all the health benefits.

Other Tricks Up My XL Sleeve

I also came up with a few other ways to run interference on my fat self.

I have two children and I used to find myself continually grazing while I was prepping meals and clearing the table. As a result, at every meal, I was eating my own heaping portion plus a bonus meal composed of bunny-shaped macaroni, dinosaur-shaped chicken, sammies, etc. To dissuade my grazing tendencies, I tried chewing gum before and after meals. And it worked. There’s really nothing that can fuck up the enjoyment of a good PB&J like Arctic-Blast Dentyne.

I read that you’re almost twice as likely to keep your weight under control when you weigh yourself every morning. So I did, and I kept a journal, too. It helped me figure out what was working, where I was blowing it and helped me focus on the decisions I was making every day.

I also enlisted the help of a virgin. I read that if you consume two tablespoons of virgin olive oil swabbed up on a butt of bread twenty minutes before you eat dinner, it will suppress your appetite. The oleic acid in olive oil produces something that tricks your brain into thinking that your stomach is full. This sounded really duplicitous. Plus, I am not convinced it worked. But, if some witch-doctor posing as a nutritionist was going to give me license to scarf focaccia and a nice fresh-press, extra-virgin olive oil during this veggie-fest, they would get no arguments from me.

Walk It Off

Amongst the under-appreciated wall murals in the GSP stairwells is a particularly poignant fresco done in hunter green, between 3 and 4, just 10 steps from my office. It’s “720 Cali On Slopey Street.” I read the caption every day: “The steep hill will do you good”. Word. Suffice to say, I’ve gotten to know stairwells rather well. I’ve sworn off the elevator for good. Stairs always. At the office. At the subway. Wherever elevation can be found. Ideally two steps at a time, heel to toe. I’ve also started getting off the train two-stops early so I have a longer trek up the hill in the morning. It does me good.

Feel the Burn but Get Some Z’s

The extra walking I did helped keep me metabolizing but I also exercised almost each of the 99 days of the competition. After the kids were tucked in, e-mails were answered, and life was dealt with, I crept down to my mancave, armed with mind-numbing electronica, and marched religiously night after night on my elliptical. After one month I had worked up to hour-long sessions of pedaling and pumping and had lost 24 pounds. In addition to my cardio workout, I occasionally worked in some resistance training, but was much less disciplined about it.

By the middle of the second month, I pretty much abandoned the resistance training altogether, favoring instead the runner’s high I was getting from my cardio workout. I was now up to 75 minutes. Every night I would finish, all jacked up, some time after midnight. Drunk on adrenaline, I’d guffaw through the last half of Conan O’Brien. My body was producing enough serotonin that even an hour of Jimmy Fallon seemed funny. I would go to bed at 1:30 most nights but would toss and turn for another hour before my body calmed down to a state in which I could finally got some sleep. And then, three and a half short hours later my day would start again with my four-year old daughter’s cherub face pressed against mine asking if I could read her Angelina Ballerina.

I was spent. I was hungry. I was pissed off. And, despite 10 hours of cardio workout a week and being really disciplined with my diet, I had only lost eight additional pounds by the time of our two-month weigh-in. Abject failure.

I immediately went to see a trainer. He told me that it takes up to five hours to come down from the amount of cardio I was doing, and that I had plateaued in a big way because I had completely exhausted myself. I was really only effectively getting a couple hours of proper sleep a night. As a result, my bewildered brain had sent out an emergency signal to the rest of my body to go into conservation mode. So instead of happily giving up my fat reserves, my body was clinging to them, literally, for dear life.

This made a lot of sense to me.

However, much of what he told me to do to get back into fat-burning mode seemed completely counterintuitive to conventional fat-ass thinking.

He told me to cut my cardio time almost in half. Wuh?

And that I should consider only doing cardio every other day. Huh?

And that I shouldn’t exert as much energy when doing cardio…go from 95% of my maximum heart rate down to about 80%. C’mon, really?

He told me to take a full day off every week to let my body repair itself. And get some rest.

Christ.

Didn’t this guy understand? There was a couple grand at stake here and, more important, bragging rights. And he wanted me to buy in to a “less is more” strategy with only four weeks left in the competition. Saboteur!

He set me up with a three-day a week resistance training regimen and told me to get off the elliptical exclusively and to mix it up with running and biking, etc. He explained that my muscles had already built up some resistance to doing the same exercises over time and that the more muscles I could tweak, the better the chances would be that I’d lose weight. Interestingly, he also said that the same principles can sometimes apply to diet, so I would need to mix up my food choices, in addition to my exercise choices.

Against my better judgment, I did everything he said.

Five weeks later I stepped on a scale for our final weigh-in and I had lost 28 more pounds.

In total I lost 60 pounds in just 99 days.

I have more energy. I sleep more soundly. My stress-level is lower. My jeans fit better.

I am a weight-loss cliché.

And it feels pretty good.

A big, fat thanks to Spencer Riviera and Mark Rurka for their Hey, Fat Ass! brainchild and to all the bro-ly polys of Hey, Fat Ass!- Season 1 for their needling, hazing and jeering. Let’s not do it again sometime soon.

EJ: Veggie burgers on romaine

2009-10-01T12:33:00.000-07:00

What were your eating and exercise habits before HFA?

I had already lost 30lbs. before HFA but before that, I ate and drank whatever I wanted and exercised very little. After 18 years of breakfast spreads, free lunches, bar tabs and expense accounts I was a mess.

How did you lose the weight? What worked for you, what didn't, etc.

I went on a very strict diet. No red meats, no dairy, no bread, no rice or potatoes. I ate veggie burgers on romaine, vegetarian chili, smartdogs, vegetables, fruit and fish. I stopped drinking alcohol and started drinking alot of water. Exercise. Soccer, Treadmill, Running on the beach and several thousand push-ups were all a big part of losing the fat. When I messed up (extended happy hour), I'd hit the gym twice as hard.

How do you plan to stay in shape?

I'm continuing to watch what I eat, not as extreme but I try to be sensible. I'm also going to keep playing soccer, running and doing push-ups. Training for the Oakland marathon should have me in the best shape of my life by March.

Thank you all for the support and motivation.

Marc Sobier: My Body Ate Itself

2009-09-26T21:22:00.000-07:00

Q: What were your eating and exercise habits before HFA?

A: Aside from maybe hitting the elliptical at Shutters once every couple of years, I had not been to a gym since 2004. Or on a bike. I would walk from the Muni to the office a few times a week and tell myself that was better than nothing. But really, it was pretty much next to nothing.

On production, I'd eat whatever I felt like, which would start with anything and everything on the craft services table at the shoot. Then usually the more decadent things on the menu at dinner: the pasta with the cream sauce, the artisan cheese plate appetizer, a ribeye with a side of bone marrow—that sort of thing. If it was available, my mantra was, "When's the next time I'm gonna have a chance to have ________?" So I'd have it. EVERY time. And I went on production a lot.

My habits weren't much better at lunch when I was in the office. Burritos? "Super," always. Extra mayo on that sandwich? Hell yeah. Fries or salad? Fries, definitely. I was really a mess. But I had a physical about a year and a half ago and cholesterol, blood pressure, etc. was all fine. My doc just told me I could stand to lose a few pounds. Well, that didn't motivate me to do much. If anything, it reinforced my belief that I could eat whatever I wanted because I "carried the weight well" according to some people. (And then—yeah, probably have a heart attack before I hit 40.)

Q: How did you lose the weight? What worked for you, what didn't, etc.
A: I tried to hit the gym 5 days a week if possible. The days I dropped my son off at preschool, it was easier to go before work. The other days I'd either try for during lunch or right after work.

I met with a Club One trainer who set me up with a core-strengthening program that didn't require me to be at the gym for more than about 45 mins.

On Day 1, I radically changed my diet. I downloaded the LoseIt app Cris Logan talked about earlier and it was really easy to keep track of calories as well as what types of food I was eating. I started snacking on almonds, fruit and vegetables and kept a stash of them near my desk. But I didn't cut out all carbs. Instead, I switched to whole wheat whenever I could. I tried to avoid butter and seasoned my food with other stuff like fresh herbs, sea salt and pepper. Mustard instead of mayo. I cut out all the diet soda I was drinking and empty sugar calories (desserts). And I mostly drank water. Lots of it.

I'd spend most of my lunch hour working out and grabbing something quick on the way back like a 6pc sushi roll or roasted turkey on wheat with mustard. And I not only started losing weight quickly, I started saving some money as well. I'm not gonna lie, the first few weeks, I was HUNGRY. But I would think, "that's just your body eating itself." And it was pretty damn motivating. And I saw Vision Quest—more motivation.

When I went on production, I made sure to try to eat the healthiest stuff possible and actually, it all tasted really good. I didn't need the cream sauce anymore. And salads tasted great. I never ordered my own dessert, but I'd have a bite or two of someone else's. I'd still have drinks, but tried to be smart about it: light beer or Guinness stout (good secret) or wine.

The only thing that didn't really work for me was how I handled the competition aspect of the contest. I think I probably had a shot at the loss-in-pounds-percentage money but looking back, I was too open in letting the rest of the fat-assers know about my exact progress. No poker face, basically.

Q: How do you plan to stay in shape?
A: I'm still trying to get to the gym whenever I can. 5 days a week would be great, but 4's ok. I also bought some stuff so I can work out at home if I have to. I just feel way better, physically and mentally, when I exercise. I knew going into this that I'd have to make this a conscious lifestyle shift and not consider it a temporary diet. Reading a lot of the Rurka-isms from this blog made me think I could do it: don't give up pizza, just have a couple slices. Moderation. That sort of thing.

I've definitely been trying to cook more and have really been paying attention to the kinds of food I'm eating. I'm also watching a lot of Food Network—which I never used to do, and hitting the farmers market for good, fresh ingredients.

My food on an average day is now:

BREAKFAST: greek nonfat yogurt, a banana, green tea

11am SNACK: almonds or trail mix and some kind of fruit

LUNCH: some stuff from SF Soup Company (all their nutrition facts are online)

AFTERNOON SNACK: more fruit

EVENING SNACK: more nuts or trail mix, maybe more fruit here too

DINNER (8PM): salad, then pretty much whatever we've got time to make from Trader Joes or on the grill

And I still drink a ton of water all day.

A couple more things:

1. I'm pretty sure I had Sleep Apnea when I was a fat ass. My wife said I snored a ton, and loudly. Also, when I would wake up, even if I got a decent 7.5-8 hours of sleep, I felt exhausted. Now when I wake up, I feel well-rested and only snore if I've been boozin' it up.

2. I saw a lot of really obese, young kids this summer on the Santa Cruz boardwalk, the Jersey Shore and back where I grew up on Long Island. It was pretty sad. That, and my wife being pregnant with our second, definitely got me thinking that I need to set a good example for my kids and give them a chance to have a somewhat normal childhood. Which probably wouldn't happen if I was eating whatever I want, whenever I want, in front of them.

Cris Logan: My Big Fat Geek Makeover

2009-09-24T11:27:00.000-07:00

Spencer has asked that a few of us write a little something about our experience participating in Hey Fat Ass, so here goes.

Q: What were your eating and exercise habits before HFA?

A: I would exercise sporadically. Very sporadically. Like I'd go to the gym two or three times a week for a while, do mostly elliptical, then not go for months at a time. Most times, my routine would be broken up by getting sick and then never going back after I got well. My eating habits were simple: whatever the hell I wanted to eat, I'd eat. This town is pure evil when it comes to delicious food. You just have to be careful.

Q: How did you lose the weight?

A: I saw HFA as a golden opportunity to improve my health and self-image. The fact that it was a publicly known event and had a built-in competitive angle helped drive me. In the past, I'd found it very hard to get over the mental hump of how hard it was going to be to get back in shape, but once HFA started I had no trouble locking down and policing myself fiercely. I had a goal, and I was going to achieve it. I had no delusions of actually winning, just of reaching a personal goal of going from 181 lbs to 156 lbs in the alotted time.

So I got an amazing personal trainer and hit the gym daily. My workouts changed constantly, to allow my body to not stagnate. I got a heart rate monitor so I knew how many calories I was burning, and how hard I was working my heart during exercise. This is key. Also got a new pair of Nike+ shoes, to monitor my running. Also great.

I counted calories, using the Lose It! app on iPhone. Incredible how many calories I was stuffing into my body before HFA. Damn you, Del Taco. Having this nutritional knowledge is so empowering, and after using Lose It for a couple months I now know (generally) what calories are in what foods so I can make intelligent choices moving forward. I almost completely cut out fried foods, alcohol, candy, red meat. I did allow myself one decadent meal a week, and that saved my sanity. Mark Rurka gave me some killer advice: burritos are great. Just not a whole burrito. I'd get a chicken burrito (no more Super Burritos, alas), cut it in half and save the other half for tomorrow. Saved money, shaved calories, tasted FANTASTIC. One other secret weapon in my arsenal: Subway's Jared menu. No shit. Super low-cal meals, and a welcome alternative to crap clown cheeseburgers when you're in a hurry.

Q: How do you plan to stay in shape?

A:Most important of all this Hey Fat Ass stuff, though, was being realistic. I didn't look at this contest as a contest, but more of an opportunity to really change my life. To integrate fitness into my daily regimen, not shoehorn it in temporarily. Fuck Atkins. Fuck South Beach. Diets don't work, they're band-aids. To truly see results and feel better, I knew I had to adjust my lifestyle realistically so that after HFA was done I'd stick to it, effortlessly. Eat more healthy overall, sprinkle in a burger every now and then. Exercise regularly, and often. That's my plan and I'm sticking to it. Plus, I can still pinch an inch so I've got work to do.

Incidentally, I have bad arthritis and my doctor had been on me for years to shed some weight. I've been taking weekly shots of Enbrel for my arthritis pain and stiffness. Been doing it for years. But since I started shaping up, I've felt great and haven't had to take the shots. Needless to say, my doctor and I are both very pleased about this.

Finally, here's what I ate in the three months of Hey Fat Ass:

yogurt

fruit fruit fruit

veggies veggies veggies

black coffee

tea

Hansen's Natural Diet Soda (not good for you, but it's a vice)

Diet Coke (see above parenthetical)

salads with low cal dressing or sometimes no dressing

turkey sandwiches (lettuce, mustard, pickle, whole wheat whole grain bread)

rice cakes (surprisingly good!)

egg whites (boring!)

almonds (no more than 25 a day)

boneless, skinless, chicken breast

1/2 chicken burrito

H2O H2O H2O

and here's what I DIDN'T eat, but used to:

Taco Bell

Del Taco

Nick's Crispy Tacos

Chevy's

Quizno's

cheeseburgers

beer

whisky

"American" breakfasts (scrambled eggs, bacon, sausage, etc)

pizza

Indian food (my favorite, missed it a lot.)

Chinese food

fettucini alfredo

filet mignon

hot wings

Shit, I generally did what I could to stay away from ALL restaurants. Exceptions here and there were unavoidable, however.

Deep Fried Everything

2009-09-02T00:52:00.000-07:00

Since it's been State Fair season, I've recently heard of the "deep fried Coca-Cola." Completing the defiant hat-trick of gravity, reason and common sense. Here's a shot of some fried coke balls and a link to more evil deliciousness:

http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/deep-fried-everything/Content?oid=229434

I honestly love this.

2009-08-20T11:38:00.001-07:00

August Results

2009-08-11T12:54:00.000-07:00

Here is where we stand.

Congrats to Marc Sobier and Jody Horn for making it over the 30 lbs mark.

Congrats to Josh Spanier for making over the 20 lbs mark.

Congrats to Pat Kelly for gaining 6 pounds during a weight loss competition. We love you PK.

The Classic Metal Workout Playlist

2009-08-03T09:24:00.000-07:00

1. Electric Eye - Judas Priest

2. Ace Of Spades - Motorhead

3. The Trooper - Iron Maiden

4. Crazy Train - Ozzy Osbourne

5. Rainbow In The Dark - Dio

6. Paranoid - Black Sabbath

7. Live Wire - Motley Crue

8. Balls To The Wall - Accept

9. Raining Blood - Slayer

10. Walk - Pantera

11. Peace Sells - Megadeth

12. Battery - Metallica

13. Evil - Mercyful Fate

14. Blackout - Scorpions

15. Round And Round - Ratt

Dr. Colonic

2009-07-30T14:16:00.000-07:00

Hydrotherapy. Does anyone else think this could be a great way to drop some lbs. ? Do any members of HFA have insight about this cleansing method ? Have any of our readers tried it ?

Yes, my banana is huge. Thanks for noticing.

2009-07-29T09:39:00.000-07:00

Just came across an interesting article debunking the nutritional supremacy of organic foods...

LONDON (Reuters) – Organic food has no nutritional or health benefits over ordinary food, according to a major study published Wednesday.

Researchers from the London School of Hygiene & Tropical Medicinesaid consumers were paying higher prices for organic food because of its perceived health benefits, creating a global organic market worth an estimated $48 billion in 2007.

A systematic review of 162 scientific papers published in the scientific literature over the last 50 years, however, found there was no significant difference.

"A small number of differences in nutrient content were found to exist between organically and conventionally produced foodstuffs, but these are unlikely to be of any public health relevance," said Alan Dangour, one of the report's authors.

"Our review indicates that there is currently no evidence to support the selection of organically over conventionally produced foods on the basis of nutritional superiority."

The results of research, which was commissioned by the British government's Food Standards Agency, were published in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition.

Sales of organic food have fallen in some markets, including Britain, as recession has led consumers to cut back on purchases.

The Soil Association said in April that growth in sales of organic products in Britain slowed to just 1.7 percent in 2008, well below the average annual growth rate of 26 percent over the last decade, following a plunge in demand at the end of the year.

(Reporting by Ben Hirschler; editing by Simon Jessop)

Hot nuts! Getcha sacka nuts heeeeeeere!

2009-07-18T13:03:00.000-07:00

The A's play the Angels tomorrow, Sunday afternoon at 1pm. My friend Ian and I have splurged for Diamond Level seats, which offer a plethora of benefits:

1) you sit literally field level, directly behind home plate. It's as close to the action as Major League Baseball offers, period. That also means you're basically on TV the whole game.

2) you park in the visiting team parking lot

3) there's a waitstaff THAT SERVES YOU WHATEVER YOU WANT, ALL YOU CAN EAT, THE WHOLE FUCKING GAME. This includes beers, I believe.

Tune in at 1pm (Comcast ch. 89, DirecTV in the 700's??) and watch me undo six weeks of militant nutrition and exercise. Go A's.

Potato

2009-07-14T23:14:00.000-07:00

Not sure what the Lithuanian name for this is, but I enjoyed some of this on production.

It's basically a sausage stuffed with mashed potato. The casing? Pig rectum. The sauce, heavy sour cream. It was actually pretty tasty, before I knew what it was. After I knew what it was, it was easier to stay on the diet. The new American name for this menu item: The Colon Potato.

Six Minutes to Fitness

2009-07-11T15:45:00.000-07:00

Another interesting post from the NY Times wellness blog.

This is why you're fat

2009-07-09T10:52:00.000-07:00

Kind of a scary site.

http://thisiswhyyourefat.com/

Fuel Up Right

2009-07-03T13:57:00.001-07:00

This NYTimes fitness blog is a great read. Turns out, I've been doing mostly everything wrong when it comes to fuel for the workout.

A Great New Way To Eat Green

2009-07-01T08:41:00.001-07:00

Taco Bell's New Green Menu Takes No Ingredients From Nature

Dear Rurka...

2009-06-27T13:28:00.000-07:00

Dear Rurka,

Not sure if you've taken notice, but the Oakland A's are pretty horrific this year. And working at Goodby is pretty boring. So I have an idea: I've been working out, getting in shape. Doing the dance, feeling the flow. I think I can take Bobby Crosby's roster spot on the 2010 club. Should I go for it?

Yes. Yes, you did.

2009-06-25T11:27:00.001-07:00

Sferro's Tips for surviving production

2009-06-24T07:43:00.001-07:00

GSP awesome producer Ashley Sferro is here to provide some tips on not getting too fat on production.

Hey Fatasses,

One common misconception is that it's impossible to not gain weight while on production. I've heard it a million times from people. This is simply not true.

Here are three easy tips to eating well and keeping your weight down while on the road.

Tip #1

Ask your producer (trust me, this will make them very happy) to bring you to Whole Foods. There, you can pick up healthy breakfast options - yogurt, cottage cheese, fresh fruit, oatmeal - which can easily be stored in your room or the mini bar. These breakfast options cut down on both calories and costs. In addition to breakfast foods, you can also pick up bottled water and snacks whose health benefits far outweigh peanut m&m's.

Venice Whole Foods

http://www.wholefoodsmarket.com/stores/venice/

Santa Monica Whole Foods

http://www.wholefoodsmarket.com/stores/santamonica/

Tip #2

When you want to eat out, choose a healthy restaurant. You can go out for a nice fancy production meal, yet pick a place that serves local, sustainable and tasty foods. Here are my top 5 in the Santa Monica area.

1) Axe - http://www.axerestaurant.com/

2) Rustic Canyon - http://www.rusticcanyonwinebar.com/

3) Nook - http://www.nookbistro.com/

4) Sasabune - http://www.yelp.com/biz/sushi-sasabune-west-los-angeles

5) Urth Cafe - http://www.urthcaffe.com/

Tip #3

Get off your ass and get outside. There are miles and miles of beautiful coastline right outside your hotel. Go for a walk, run, swim or bike ride. Take advantage of the location and get moving!

One little slip won't kill you, right?

2009-06-23T20:21:00.000-07:00

One week to first weigh-in

2009-06-23T16:16:00.000-07:00

Dear Fat-Asses,

One week from today is our first official weigh-in. Details to follow. Get skinny.

Great iPhone app: Lose It!

2009-06-23T00:46:00.000-07:00

This thing is pretty awesome. Its got a simple, clean, user-friendly interface that makes tracking calories and exercise a breeze. For instance, that fudge wonder in the photo below? Just 20 calories! Turns out fudge is basically a diet food--who knew!? Go out and get yourself one right now. Heck, get several.

Dear Rurka...

2009-06-21T09:13:00.000-07:00

Dear Mark Rurka,

What are some good lunch options around the office if I do not bring my own lunch to work very often?

Custom Made for Fatties Like Us

2009-06-19T09:19:00.001-07:00

See more funny videos and TBT Videos at Today's Big Thing.

Welcome to the Thunder Dome.

2009-06-18T12:24:00.000-07:00

This is where I've been working out lately. Corner of Lyon and Broadway. Hands down one of the prettiest places in the Bay Area, and it is guaranteed to break you.

You're so fat, you're taller when you lay down.

Our fearless, fudge-full leader

2009-06-17T13:21:00.000-07:00

I know there isn't a newspaper to prove that this is from last night, but trust me, my sources are more than reliable. Maybe after he is finally able to swallow that mouthload of fudgeshmallow he will try and rationalize his behavior. But as Ghandi always said "the scale always has the last word bitches, namaste."

Listen to the governor

2009-06-16T16:16:00.000-07:00

"It feels fantastic..."

It's National Carrot Day! Hooray!

2009-06-16T13:05:00.001-07:00

This is pretty dope. Check it. Oh, and I almost forgot: you're so fat, when you back up you beep.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EWTd0BMdtvg

D'oh Nuts

2009-06-15T13:23:00.000-07:00

Krispy Kreme, going out of business?

Funny that this development should occur in the wake of Cris "Hot Glazed" Logan's fasting.

http://finance.yahoo.com/family-home/article/107185/Restaurants-on-the-Ropes

just a handful!

2009-06-13T15:44:00.000-07:00

This handful of raw almonds thing...is just not as satisfying as a tub of trail mix from safeway.

I do want to shake the guys hand who thought of putting m&m's in trail mix and still had the balls to call it trail mix.

How y'all be derrrrr'n?

2009-06-12T08:24:00.001-07:00

I'll admit it. I'm sore. And I'm about to get sore-er. How are you?

I am almost always hungry.

2009-06-11T09:23:00.000-07:00

Not only is that phrase undeniably true these days, but it's also the title of one of my most prized possessions: Bill Cahan and Associates' sole monograph. An outrageously egotistical designer, Cahan closed his doors earlier this year much to the shock of the design community.

Read the book, it's amazing whether you're a designer or not. And then go eat a double-double animal style with extra crispy fries.

Must... Not... Be... The Hamster

2009-06-10T21:20:00.000-07:00

I'm almost always hungry these days. I'm really hopeful that I don't break soon--like this guy.

game on

2009-06-10T11:59:00.000-07:00

When I was a kid, I used to love to go to Showbiz Pizza place. All that piping hot, delicious, cheesy, deep dish pizza and so many video games to choose from! One of my favorites had to be Burgertime. Why am I telling you this? Dunno. Just thought I'd share.

That's Right Bitches - There's a Treadmill in My Room

2009-06-10T05:43:00.000-07:00

Adrien Bindi

2009-06-09T19:50:00.000-07:00

Weight: 215

Body Fat: 22.4%

BMI: 29.0

Target weight: 200

This helps me stay motivated, may it also help you. Good luck Losers.

HFA09 CONTESTANT: Craig "Pink Pudge" Mangan

2009-06-09T16:18:00.000-07:00

Starting weight: 172
Target weight: 152
Want to lose: 20
Starting %Body Fat: 23
Target %Body Fat: 14
Fitness strategy: Boot camp, stare in mirror, repeat.
Favorite desert: Was: One Cheesecake Now: Twenty push ups

Swimming is good

2009-06-09T15:41:00.001-07:00

Spencer says swimming is a key part of his exercise regimen. I'm not sure if it's the camera angle or what, but it seems he's got some work to do. I, for one, applaud him for having the courage to swim naked in a public pool in spite of his obvious physical shortcomings.

Eat less you idiot.

2009-06-08T17:09:00.000-07:00

Grab the new GQ, there's a good article for all us lard asses.

A Vacation From Your Diet?

2009-06-08T12:34:00.000-07:00

I spent this past weekend at a friend's predictably indulgent bachelor party. Even though I drank more than I wanted to and ate goat 4 times in two days (cooked a variety of different ways, and yes, it IS a long boring story), I discovered a few good tricks in the article below that seems to me could apply to a staycation (or summer long crash diet) just as well as they do an honest-to-goodness vacation.

Bon appetit

Watch out for the fizzy money shot

2009-06-06T15:15:00.000-07:00

I love Diet Coke. Have for years. Christian Haas mentioned the other day that he thought you might be able to gain weight from drinking diet sodas, due to the body's insulin reaction to sweets--regardless of whether those sweets are caloric or not. Check this out.

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/01/04/earlyshow/contributors/emilysenay/main2330142.shtml

"I'm trying to start a new life and I feel running should be a major part of it."

2009-06-06T09:02:00.000-07:00

Assholes

2009-06-05T14:30:00.001-07:00

HFA09 CONTESTANT: John Pettit

2009-06-05T10:39:00.000-07:00

Height: 6' 3.5"

Current weight: 238 lbs

Ideal weight: 200

BF%: 21.9

Fitness strategy: Weights MWF. Running TuThSun. Tennis on the weekends. Smaller portions, breakfast everyday and no M&Ms.

Favorite dessert: Beer, ice cream.

You're hungry, don't deny it.

2009-06-05T10:00:00.000-07:00

It's been almost a full workweek of punishing yourself in the name of vanity. You know you're tired, sore, starving. Rubio's is here to help. Just one visit to try one of their new All-American burger tacos couldn't hurt, could it? If you choose not to eat it, the terrorists win.

HFA09 CONTESTANT: PK

2009-06-04T16:29:00.000-07:00

Starting weight: 208.5
Target weight: 188 lbs
Want to lose: 20.5 lbs
Starting %Body Fat: 25.5
Target %Body Fat: 18%
Fitness strategy: Running, sushi, bland chicken, vodka
Concerns: Chinese food

High Fructose Corn Syrup - Misunderstood

2009-06-04T14:19:00.000-07:00

Seems like there's a lot of misinformation out there on the web today about how to lose weight. One common theme that may not be true is that high-fructose corn syrup and the beverages that contain it are bad for you. Interestingly, I've found a website that has got it's facts straight and the good news is, even if you're trying to lose weight, there's no reason to stop drinking soda, or other terrific energy beverages. Just thought everyone might like to know.

http://www.sweetsurprise.com

HFA09 CONTESTANT: Sharkey

2009-06-04T11:08:00.000-07:00

Height: 6' 3"

Current weight: 209.2 lbs

Ideal weight: 185-190

BF%: 22.1

Fitness strategy: Getting off my fat ass and doing something.

Favorite dessert: Prime Rib

Dosta's Kick-Start workout

2009-06-04T09:32:00.000-07:00

HFA09 CONTESTANT: Marc Sobier

2009-06-04T00:07:00.000-07:00

Height: 6' 4.5"

Current weight: 265.8 lbs

Ideal weight: 210 (yeah, right)

BF%: 23.4

Fitness strategy: Burritos are banned. Gym at lunch. Bike to work when possible. Fruit instead of cheese. Cry. Repeat.

Favorite dessert: Beer (used to be, anyway)

HFA09 Contestant: Cris Logan

2009-06-03T17:23:00.000-07:00

Height: 5'10"

Current weight: 181.4

Ideal weight: 160

BF%: 24.3

Fitness Strategy: I'm working out most every day, and watching what I eat. They tell me that it's good for me, but I don't even care. I know that it's crazy, I know that it's nowhere. But there is no denying that it's hip to be square.

Favorite Dessert: Tacos tacos tacos.

HFA09 CONTESTANT: Farley

2009-06-03T15:54:00.000-07:00

Height: 6'3"

Current weight: 241

Ideal weight: 199

BF%: 28.4

Fitness Strategy: Rowing, pillaging, and smaller flagons of mead.

Favorite Dessert: The beating heart of my enemies.

From the minds of Dosta & Cris Logan

2009-06-03T15:18:00.001-07:00

Starting Stats at a glance

2009-06-03T14:47:00.001-07:00

HFA09 CONTESTANT: Jon Wolanske

2009-06-03T11:12:00.000-07:00

Height: 6'2"

Current weight: 206.8

Ideal weight: 189-194

BF%: 22.5 %

Fitness Strategy: Chopping wood, logrolling, and long walks on the beach.

Favorite Dessert: Anything cookie-shaped.

HFA09 CONTESTANT: FORD

2009-06-03T11:00:00.000-07:00

Height: 5'10.5"

Current weight: 163

Ideal weight: 170-178

BF%: 17.3

Fitness Strategy: Disinformation, subversion, bake sales and bad advice.

Favorite Dessert: Dessert is for fat asses.

HFA09 CONTESTANT: EJ

2009-06-03T10:02:00.000-07:00

Height: 6'1"
Current weight: 212.8
Ideal weight: 180-189
BF%: 27.5
Fitness strategy: Diet / Exercise.
Favorite dessert: Leafy greens and water

HFA09 CONTESTANT: S. Riviera

2009-06-03T09:16:00.001-07:00

Height: 5'10.5"
Current weight: 199.2
Ideal weight: 170-178
BF%: 23.5
Fitness strategy: South beach diet, running, weight lifting, swimming
Favorite desert: Pumpkin pie

food to excercise ratio...

2009-06-02T21:09:00.000-07:00

I thought this was interesting.

http://food.yahoo.com/blog/yahoofreshpicks/9960/what-chain-food-favorites-cost-in-exercise/

Dear Rurka

2009-06-02T10:24:00.000-07:00

Dear Rurka,

I've gone up and down in weight for a while. I'd be "good" for a few months and then bad. Real bad. Now my ass doesn't fit in my apartment. My question to you is this: at what moment did you decided "enough is enough--I'm going to get in shape and stay that way." In other words, what was your breaking point/moment of clarity?

- Fat in 'Frisco

Dear Fat in 'Frisco,

The moment came while carrying my newborn twins up the stairs into my house after arriving home from the hospital. I was completely out of breath from toting 25 pounds up eight stairs at 36 years of age. I decided that I wanted to live past the age of 40, and enlisted our very own Mike Chamorro to help me lose my fat ass. Everything I've done the last four years I learned from Mike. With his advice, I got in shape ad stayed that way. He accepts cash and personal checks.

Dear Rurka,

Can you tell us a little bit about your approach to fitness? When do you work out? How often? What's your diet like? Do you have days when you cheat? If so, when? Do you still eat ice cream, shotgun beers and party like Slav?

- 720 lbs in 720 Cal St.

Dear 720 lbs in 720 Cal St.,

I see fitness as equal parts exercise and eating right. No cleanses. No South Beach. No Atkins.

I try to get to the gym at least three days during the week and do something active one day on the weekend. I go at lunch because I'm on Dad duty mornings and evenings.

When I was a fat-ass, I never ate breakfast, would eat an entire plate of nachos for lunch, and would go home and eat a giant dinner, or a half of a pizza if I was here working late.

Now I eat smaller meals and snacks, five times a day. More fruits and vegetables and lean meats, fewer potstickers. I drink more wine, less beer. I have a couple glasses of wine almost every night.

I don't feel like I'm missing anything because I take a day or two off a week and eat and drink whatever the hell I want. I eat chocolate cake, just not four pieces. I drink beer, just not twelve. Okay, maybe twelve.

--Rurka

short on workout time?

2009-06-01T15:08:00.001-07:00

For those of you with little time on your hands, I would check out the workout on the link below. It has 16 weeks worth of workouts. They are only 30 minutes long but really pack a punch. I got a flatter stomach doing this than training for a triathlon.

http://www.iwantsixpackabs.com/abs.html

A little inspiration before we start

2009-06-01T13:41:00.001-07:00

Weigh-In moved to Tuesday, June 2nd, 5 pm

2009-06-01T11:53:00.001-07:00

Sorry guys. Our personal trainer went MIA on us tonight. The good news is we have the head fitness coach at Club One coming to take our measurements tomorrow.

New date: Tuesday, June 2nd
Same time: 5pm
New location: 3rd floor Library.

Hallie is her name. She will be measuring us one at a time in the library. Plan to get down to your undies. Also, we have to pay for Hallie's time, so please plan to bring $10 bucks and give it to Spencer. This is in addition to the $100 bucks you will bring for Rurka.

If, for whatever reason, you cannot make the weigh-in time tomorrow, you can schedule your own measurement time with Hallie at Club One in the Citi Group location. She is available today between 12 and 2 pm (sorry for the short notice). She also has time tomorrow and Wednesday. If you do not get your measurements taken by Hallie by Wednesday, you will not be able to compete in HEY FAT ASS 2009.

Again, sorry for the cancellation. But this just means you get one more night of ice cream and pizza.

Don't let this happen to you.

2009-06-01T08:54:00.000-07:00

A word of warning: Goodby claims I was much funnier when I was fat.
Not really a problem for me.
Bad for you.
Let the games begin.

The Dark Before The Dawn

2009-05-31T09:19:00.001-07:00

The first official weigh-in is tomorrow at 5 pm in the 3rd floor conference room at GSP. Hopefully you have been using this weekend to stuff your face with sweet meats and blubber crumpets in an attempt to bulk up. On that note, you are all invited to gorge yourself on a last gluttonous meal of Ritz burgers on Monday at 12:30. Email Spencer if you plan to attend.

Hey Fat Ass

Excercising is like cleaning your teeth!

It's about diet

Mmmmmm, holiday treats.

Reasons to do HFA Holiday Edition:

Hey Fat Ass Holiday Edition Begins!

Jody Horn: I am a weight-loss cliché

EJ: Veggie burgers on romaine

Marc Sobier: My Body Ate Itself

Cris Logan: My Big Fat Geek Makeover

Deep Fried Everything

I honestly love this.

August Results

The Classic Metal Workout Playlist

Dr. Colonic

Yes, my banana *is* huge. Thanks for noticing.

Hot nuts! Getcha sacka nuts heeeeeeere!

Potato

Six Minutes to Fitness

This is why you're fat

Fuel Up Right

A Great New Way To Eat Green

Dear Rurka...

Yes. Yes, you did.

Sferro's Tips for surviving production

One little slip won't kill you, right?

One week to first weigh-in

Great iPhone app: Lose It!

Dear Rurka...

Custom Made for Fatties Like Us

Welcome to the Thunder Dome.

Our fearless, fudge-full leader

Listen to the governor

It's National Carrot Day! Hooray!

D'oh Nuts

just a handful!

How y'all be derrrrr'n?

I am almost always hungry.

Must... Not... Be... The Hamster

game on

That's Right Bitches - There's a Treadmill in My Room

Adrien Bindi

HFA09 CONTESTANT: Craig "Pink Pudge" Mangan

Swimming is good

Eat less you idiot.

A Vacation From Your Diet?

Watch out for the fizzy money shot

"I'm trying to start a new life and I feel running should be a major part of it."

Assholes

HFA09 CONTESTANT: John Pettit

You're hungry, don't deny it.

HFA09 CONTESTANT: PK

High Fructose Corn Syrup - Misunderstood

HFA09 CONTESTANT: Sharkey

Dosta's Kick-Start workout

HFA09 CONTESTANT: Marc Sobier

HFA09 Contestant: Cris Logan

HFA09 CONTESTANT: Farley

From the minds of Dosta & Cris Logan

Starting Stats at a glance

Related Link

HFA09 CONTESTANT: Jon Wolanske

HFA09 CONTESTANT: FORD

HFA09 CONTESTANT: EJ

HFA09 CONTESTANT: S. Riviera

food to excercise ratio...

Dear Rurka

short on workout time?

A little inspiration before we start

Weigh-In moved to Tuesday, June 2nd, 5 pm

Don't let this happen to you.

The Dark Before The Dawn

Yes, my banana is huge. Thanks for noticing.